Some wacko day

I get up in the morning as my eyelids twitch and my sinuses ache. Yup! you can guess this will be one heck of a day.
I look into the mirror and the reflection has "Get back to sleep u moron " all over it.then morning routine as usual and i start off with peeing.
As the very auspicious odour of the toilet greet me i begin 2 think what horrible dilemmas await me.
As I get ready for school i just realize that my god damn record aint done yet!
As I try to forge an excuse for my absent mindedness a friendly uricotelic critter mistakes my head for his toilet bowl and my shampooed hair is smothered with bird poop, thanx a lot u feathered son of a *****.
Some times u may wonder why the hell do birds poop on u when u least expect?
from my above experience i have come to this conclusion:

frequency of eyelid twitch x degree of pain of a head ache/(how absent minded a guy can get+how much the bathroom stinks in da morning) = Accuracy of shit fallin on your head in da nxt 24 hrs